Tartan

♫Me first day in the shipyard, the gaffer says to me,
"I want ye to go to the store lad and get a few things, ye see?
Now here's a list, can ye read lad? Can ye read it back to me?
And me and the boys'll listen while were having wah morning tea."


Now reading was me pride when I left school at fourteen,
There wouldn't be no problem here, I'd show them I was keen,
But when I starts to reading, they just couldn't hold their mirth,
Hugging themselves and spluttering like they was giving birth.


"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat,
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that's me task complete."
The gaffer pats me on the head and sends me on me way,
He says, "Don't come back empty handed lad, or I'll have to dock yr pay."♫