A girl and her dog

I have not been able to journal about this day till now, it has just been too painful. May the 10th will forever be a hard day for me. I am so grateful we were blessed to have Molly for 18 years but I am having a hard time knowing that I will never be able to smell her or kiss her on her little brown furry head no more, it hurts so much. Our home does not feel the same without her presence. Each time I come home her not coming to the stairs to greet me is hard to bare. These things make me so, so sad. After her passing I cried for two days so much I never though a human had so many tears. I think I might have used up all the tears I have. But I am beginning to feel a little bit better with each new day. I am so grateful for all the kind words and prayers of comfort from family and friends. Please keep those prayers of comfort coming. I am a big believer in the power of prayer. When I am eating I forget it's ok to leave my plate on the table if I have to get up. When I go into the back yard, it's ok now to leave the gate open. I don't hear the sound of the tip tap of her paws on the hardwood floor no more. I don't hear her howl to be let out or to be let back in. The gates are not at the bottom of the stairs during the day or the top of the stairs at night for fear of her falling on the stairs. I'm missing watching her make her blanket perfect so she can find her most comfy spot to sleep as we are all in the living room doing our own things. I miss her sunning in the sunroom with me. I miss her presence and her bed with her pink blanket that I fixed for her each night (even thou she never liked the way I fixed it for her and would end up fixing it the way she liked) in our room when it was time to call it a day. Just to mention a few things as we are trying to deal with the new normal. I do know that she had a good life and that she was very much loved. She in return gave us so much love and filled out hearts with so much joy. We have 18 years of wonderful memories and that is what I am holding on to. I am hurting, I am sad, I miss her dearly, and I will cry, ( if I have tears left ) :) and it's ok and I will be ok. This is how it is for now. Time will heal, it always does.