Cold Heart?

I warn you - I'm in rant mode today!

Call me a cynical tw*t, but what exactly is the whole deal with love?

People constantly seem to be either looking for love, falling in love, falling out of love or recovering from a lost love. I just don't get it.

I'm not saying bah humbug to love, I am very happy for people who are happy, but the way I see it is this - nothing lasts forever.
OK, so admittedly there are rare times e.g. the 90 year old couple still all loved up after 70 years, who die at the same time as each other, but I reckon that on the whole, love just doesn't last forever.

People change, situations change. What seemed like a great idea might slowly become mundane. Or people very inconsiderately go and die on you!

A lot of people don't even know what love is, they think they are in love then realise they are actually just dependant on that person for whatever reason. Routine, companionship, fear of being alone, it varies.
Personally, I realise now that in a relationship which lasted several years, I was only truly in love for 3-4 months. I wasn't even in love when I got engaged. I wasn't in love when we bought our wedding rings. I even joked with my friend that I should pick an expensive ring so I could pawn it when the relationship ended. That sounds shocking, but at the time, it just felt normal to think that - I was stupid enough to be with that man, I'd 'made my bed' and so on.
Anyway, I was just pathetically dependant on the relationship. Dependant on a man who frankly wasn't good enough for me. I stupidly lowered my standards to be with him and ended up in a crap relationship. That relationship made me feel so worthless that I wasn't even myself. I didn't even like or respect myself in that relationship, I was pathetic really. I cringe now at how pathetic I was. I barely recognise the person I became when I was with him.
Overall, I thought a bad relationship, was better than being alone. I think a lot of coupled up people have a fear of singles. Like being single is a threat to them, or society on the whole. I was invited to a birthday night out, but apparently it was mainly couples, so "if I could try and find someone to bring with me, that would be better" - I'll just make that call to Rent A Man shall I? A friend of mine has similar experiences because she's single, and horror of horror, is childless (or child free as I prefer to call it). Anyway I digress. I reckon it is much better to be on your own than with someone who doesn't deserve you and who doesn't let you be yourself, and be all that you can be.

I certainly don't want to rely on anyone for anything. If you only rely on yourself you can't be let down by anyone.
Happiness for example: If you are happy in yourself, and are not reliant on someone or something else to make you happy, then I reckon that's contentment.

I'm not saying I don't want to fall in love again, but what I am saying is that I will continue to be independent and prepare myself for the end. Nothing lasts forever. In my opinion, certainly not love.

You may or may not agree, (if you're in love you probably think I'm a right cold hearted bitch) but that's how I feel.
Oh, and just for the record, I am not one of these people who hates Valentine's Day etc, I think love is lovely.

I'm away to take my chill pill now! I didn't intend on writing a flippin book, apologies!