You know you are an old fart when

you reckon that the young good-for-nothing blue-haired muppet sitting opposite you looks too young to be tattooed. 

What really got up my nose was when he extended his underused spindly legs and put his feet on the seat. Next to me?! 

Bollix to that, I said to myself. And I took his photograph. And I didn't ask for his permission oh no. Anyway, he was so absorbed in the contemplation of pandas doing funny things on YouTube that he didn't notice. 

He did notice however when I extended my legs and put my feet on the seat next to him. And rolled up my sleeves. And gave him the look. 

His feet were reunited with the floor pretty fast.

Not a word was exchanged. 

We darted on.