Holiday time

The cats have been shipped off to Nana's house and work is done and dusted for a couple of weeks! Off to see uncle John and Aunty Dan tomorrow! The prospect of the epic flight with a wriggly Seb on my knee and Thomas who sounds like he's brewing a chest infection does not fill me with joy but hopefully it will all go smoothly and we will have a great time! I have mixed feelings about going on holiday! The morning dad died I had already spoken to John about bringing dad along on this trip when grandad had passed away! We wanted to give him something to look forwards to and hopefully once he had been he would have felt confident going on his own later in the year to meet baby Butterworth when he came along. I never even got the chance to ask him! Not sure the prospect of a holiday would have changed Dads outlook on life too much but there is always those niggling doubts and constant regrets swirling around in my mind that I just didn't do enough to help him! I feel incredibly guilty and anxious planning to do nice things and generally enjoy myself! I somehow feel that i don't have the right to be doing these things! It just doesn't seem fair!