Three apples a day - call the doctor

I've had some frustrating days with 'computers' in 32 years of using them almost every day, with a few gaps, but today must be the most frustrating ever. The three iPads blipped almost ended up in the trash.
I started with Apple, I think it was called a Euro II with 64kb of memory, and the Wordstar wordprocessor with keyboard commands. That was in 1984. The database program I used could not run on a desk top computer, only on a mainframe.
At some point I changed to computers running MSDos and did most of the projects between classes in Romania and some in English-speaking countries (I was teaching English, not computers) - UK, Canada, USA - using MSDos-based email, no graphic user interfaces. I did migrate to Windows before I left Romania.
In about 2005 I changed back to Apple, the iconic iMac G3, and have been Mac ever since.
Never in all that time have I been unable to work out how to do something, until today.
If I don't get to the Apple shop tomorrow, it will have to be Monday to remain sane.