Tail Up The Nose

My Dear Fellow,

Jasper lolls all over me. I'm sure I've told you this before. With his backside directly in my face and his tail flicking everywhere, while I try to watch tv. He doesn't care. He is no respecter of personal space, so I lie there with my view obscured while his tail gives me a "cat moustache" and a "cat beard".

This is me trying to watch an old episode of "Top of the Pops" yesterday. As you can see, 1981 Kim Wilde was on. I loved 1981 Kim Wilde, even though she was out of my league. The girls from The Human League were far more my level. They looked like the sort of girls you went to school with. They even danced that same bored sway you always saw your sister's mates do at school discos. You could bump into girls like that on the bus or working behind the counter at Woolworths.

But not 1981 Kim Wilde. She was classy. I bet she could have got a job working behind the counter at Boots.

Anyway, here she is singing "Cambodia" on iPlayer. But I kind of missed it because of Fatty Bumsticks there, getting in the way. Not that I mind really, he was purring and I'll forgive a lot for a purr.

Ah, 1981 Kim Wilde. Never grow any older and please don't make any cr&ppy records with Stock, Aitken & Waterman.

She never listens.

El Parsones