Where to begin

I find these catalogues that come with the Sunday newspaper bemusing and amusing in equal proportions. I guess they are a testimony to the creativity of that somewhat eccentric element of our society but they also ring alarm bells for me, I mean who is:

~ So obsessed by splatter that they need to enclose themselves in something that only just falls short of qualifying as a nuclear shelter
~ So mean that they can't buy themselves a new bra when the old one no longer fits
~ Is afraid to bend over in the shower .... oh, hang on a minute, maybe if you are in prison there is a market for this one

I guess the appearance of your invention, your life's work in this publication is the ultimate sign that you have failed. Still, hats off to them all for giving it a go.

Football was a disaster last night. I know we are through but there was nothing about the game to inspire confidence that we can go any further. Wish I was Welsh. At least if I was and had watched that game instead I wouldn't have felt that I had missed a game of badminton for nothing. Not that we have learned our lesson - badminton cancelled next week and we will watch again. I do hope it is worth it this time.