Kevin was about to go postal.

France in the final of the euros 4:1
Milos Raonic against Murray in the final, feck.
Rosberg to win Silverstone 3:2
Even had Oxford for the boat race.
Took his library books back on the allotted date – bank holiday.

What's worse? ...ordered cream of onion, got lentil.

Kevin had had enough. Life was against him. It was time to take a stand.

You know what...he didn't leave a tip.