The Kent Chalk Harvest

The Kent Chalk Harvest is now well underway. Impoverished families hoping to escape Brexit Britain for a brief respite on t'Continent have been commandeered to collect, grade and sort (sort of the same thing) chalk from Kent gardens and quiescent arable fields.

The chalk is then washed and sent to the northern reaches of the fast diminishing United Kingdom where it is swopped for an exotic and little known mineral known as 'coal'.

The coal is then carried by native labour in huge willow panniers to somewhere in the south-west of England were it is crushed beneath the weight of spare rhetoric until it resembles industrial grade diamonds, whence it is traded for US dollars to shore up the once mighty Pound Sterling.

The John Lanchester piece in the London Review of Books on Brexit is very good.