AOG8 Flea Synchro Swimming

"Good morning folks, this is Keepit Inhispants reporting from Poolside where - hey did you see the buns on that!!! - sorry, here at the pool the UK flea Synchronised Swimming event has, - she is Gaaawjus - where was I, yeah the fleas have had trouble; it appears nobody checked to see if they can indeed swim, let alone do it together. That lady in the bronze swim suit - wow have you ever..."
"Keepit this is Laura in the studio - thank you for your report, Heinz the producer says your return flight is cancelled, as is your contract. In other news we have a major report on disruption in the athlete's village. This report from Sherry Tippler."
"Hi Shandaya, I'm at the athlete's drive-through food facility. It appears that two of the UK bear team, Boris and Bender became disenchanted with the berries and nuts they were given, they said, and I quote, "This is discrimination against big furry bundles of fun!" They ordered 48 double cheese burgers, 24 orders of fries and 4 pints of a well known Cola, before driving off in search of a wooded area. When stopped by a police patrol the bears were reported as saying, "We've been here three days and so far have been unable to find a wooded area to do what bears do. Back to you in the studio....." 
"Well folks, that's all for now we will hand you over to our sponsors, be assured that Keepit will definitely not be reporting on the beach volleyball competition. This is Shandaya Whitetooth live from a bar in Rio."