"Oh for crying out loud!"

What a time I've had with the red, pigging umbrella! 
First the winding cord snapped, I then, after an hour or more fiddling inside the pole like a demented gynaecologist I managed to re-thread a new cord. 2 days later that blasted thing snapped, along with my patience. 
In pure frustration I drilled a hole in the metal pole, raised the canopy by hand and jammed my old uncle's pipe-cleaning tool in it to stop it coming down. Success you might think ... until today, less than two weeks later, a massive gust of wind blew the whole thing over, and snapped a couple of the support arms that holds up the canopy Now the whole poxy thing's stymied!
I'm not best pleased.