Today's news...

...there was little interest from the public as the exchange flying saucer from Mars arrives 2 days late and 200 metres behind the designated landing zone.

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Newsflash from Kent Brockman:
"The Corvair spacecraft has been taken over - 'conquered', if you will - by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."