Odd One Out

We were treated to a beautiful day today. Unbroken sunshine and bright blue sky all day. It was cold this morning though, and in fact all day, but the chill of the air felt quite nice. 

I didn't feel too bad when I got up, and purposely didn't eat anything until my half avocado at lunch. And then I endured four hours of "indigestion" that saw me right through to the end of school. It was hard as I was on my own with them this arrive, and when you don't feel well it's just that bit more painful. 

A friend of mine at work gave me some health advice this morning. She's great, we all go to her with health woes! 

I feel a bit empty today and I can't put my finger on why. Maybe it's that Monday feeling. It just feels like something is missing, and I know what it is. Yet however hard we try to replicate it in other ways, it doesn't take away from what's gone, or doesn't feel quite right. 

I didn't plan on being the one who lives alone, the one who lived away multiple times, the one who travels alone, the one who does lots of things alone. I didn't want to be the poster child for it. I'm not sure how I ended up getting here, but life as part of a two has somehow evaded me, at least long term. It just makes me wonder whether I am really fighting against the inevitable, and that these things are already decided for us, or whether we are in charge of our own destiny.

The jury's still out on that one...