sitting in the shadows...

...is a robin

what was he doing there?

i don't know - perhaps he was feeling like i've been feeling - these last days since my sister died - lost, out of sorts, confused - and that's why he's perched in the shadows - why i want to perch there with him - because being in the shadows - is much more comfortable than being out in the light of day - having to deal with the reality of what happened - i am not ready to face it yet - none of us in the family are - we all have been burning up the phone lines - calling & texting each other for support - repeating the same thing over & over & over -

she was too young - how can it be - did they get it right - she was too young - it has to be a mistake - are you sure

silly isn't it - how we struggle with acceptance - even when it's staring us in the face - even after we received the official cause of her death - which gave us peace, some closure - but for me, made me want to hide even more in those shadows

the final realization she's not coming back - the door is closed - i must say goodbye - need to let her go - it is in the letting go - i will be able to move on - will be able to pass through the journey - carry on to get to the other side - stronger, surer, more confident in myself - in understanding god's plans and knowing he only has what's best in mind for me - which always includes...

a

happy day.....