Why eye?

One of my titles at work (apart from Chief Cardboard Crusher, and The Only Person Who Seems Capable Of Emptying The Kitchen Bin) is Regional Skin Advisor.

This involves being sent a big box of skincare samples every month. (It's not as exciting as it sounds - there's not enough Clarins moisturiser, and too much acne cream for my liking.)

The latest sample, was a tiny tube of 'miracle eye cream' which retails at well over £50. It guarantees to temporarily get rid of bags, puffiness and wrinkles, and having watched the training videos, I was desperate to try it.

It was incredible. Five minutes after slapping the gel on, I can honestly say that the skin around my eyes looked 20 years younger.....

What they don't tell you though, is that it feels as if your face has been dipped in quick drying cement. I just knew that the first time I laughed, my 'skin' would start splitting like a boiled tomato. And apparently the effects wear off after ten hours, which presumably means that you can be sitting there looking like Marilyn Monroe one moment, then crack, Marilyn Manson the next.....

I've decided to stay wrinkly. It might not be pretty, but at least my face isn't suddenly going to start pinging off in the middle of Waitrose....