Never mind a cold war with Russia

This is the real issue - which is the correct way to hang a toilet roll, over slung or under slung? As you can tell from the picture, I favour over slung, it is just more aesthetically pleasing and you don't need to come into contact with a grimy loo wall when tearing a sheet (or even two if feeling flush - no pun intended) from the roll. 

Whilst I'm on the subject of loo rolls, who remembers Izal? This is what I grew up with and for those that are not familiar, it is the pack of toliet paper that is presumably made by cutting up a roll of grease proof paper into tiny little squares, folding them up and then placing them inside a little box that can be conveniently mounted on the wall. The thing about grease proof paper and therefore Izal toilet paper is that it IS NOT absorbent so rather then wipe up anything, it tends to just move it around, ensuring that the mess now covers a much larger area than it did before. The other issue is size, each piece being about the size of a postage stamp. This means that to be safe, the user has to pull out about 20 sheets from the box and arrange them in a fan like pattern until they totally cover the hand - only then is it safe to go in and start vainly trying to wipe with something better suited to removing old paint from a tired window frame. 

A friend who went to a well known public school told me that the paper was rationed by prefects and of course, they were prone to be particularly mean dishing out well below the 20 sheets required, 2 or 3 being the most you could expect to receive. I often wondered if this was why Prince Charles always keeps his right hand tucked inside his jacket, a hangover from his school days and a particularly cruel prefect.