The Stones of Destiny....

(Continued.....)


CANCER:  Too much eggnog at the office Christmas party gives you the courage to phone Theresa May and demand tax relief on your festive drinks order from Majestic.
Mrs May tells you to Farage off, but recommends the budget prosecco at £4.99.  Don't say she's not in tune with the electorate!


SCORPIO:  In July you will be sent to D wing of Pentonville,  after accusing Mary Berry of using Lidl's meringues in her famous 'Īles Flottantes'.  (Offending Dame Berry is classed as treason, and will be dealt with accordingly.)
However you can still call Paul Hollywood a pudgy, irritating satsuma and get away with it, so look on the bright side and start those insults now!