Assumptions...

...Lynx has no intention of letting me finish my paperwork tonight, so I will tell you a wee bit about my day...

I took my neighbour some evergreenery because she wanted to make some decorations and had asked for some the previous day as I came home. Another neighbour was at her house so I said I was just dropping off the greenery. But no, it was insisted I went in for coffee...

It was pretty obvious I had been the subject of conversation, and they both brought stuff up and were fishing for information on me. But I am an elusive slippery fish...

The other neighbour jumped straight in with that they had decided I was a recluse because of my high vegetation round my property. I just smiled. Then she went on to say...you don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't have any newspapers delivered, you don't have any men friends calling, and more she said (a raised eyebrow from me at this point)...well, I have the best view from my kitchen window of any comings and goings to your house, she said, but there aren't any, she finished with.

[so this means my rubbish is also examined to see what my lifestyle is?]

Then she asked if I was going anywhere over Christmas. I smiled and raised an eyebrow again. No, that is a silly question, she said, you spend every Christmas at home.

[!!!!!!!!!!!]

Then the two neighbours proceeded to tell me of all the shenanigans I have missed over the last decade in the road that I miss because of my high vegetation.

I had no idea there were so many neighbourly disputes/arguments/fights/boundary problems with neighbours knocking down walls&rebuilding new ones this claiming extra land, and so much more and who had fallen out with who.

"Now you know why I have high vegetation round my property," I told them, "so I am not watching all these ongoing disputes and the silliness and pettiness that ensues. I have better things to do with my time."

So, of course I was asked what I did with my time. I just smiled again and just told her, "Making Christmas cards for you all." [Which was obvious because I always give out hand made Christmas cards]

You are a lovely person, said the other neighbour, really nice. We all thought you were a recluse, but you're not, you are just a lady who has high vegetation round her property, and it looks very nice by the way, she added.

Some of the disputes have descended into a daily pettiness designed to aggravate.

"Now you know why my vegetation will stay as high as it is, so I can't see any of this", I told them. "You are getting very agitated in a daily basis, no matter who was in the wrong initially. It is not worth it."

There was a lot more said by her, including some inconsiderate neighbours with too many cars blocking the road.

[This morning confirmed one thing for me, which I had realised anyway, is there is no point in appealing to the reasonable nature of these particular neighbours because they don't have one]

You are a really nice person, I was told, no trouble as a neighbour at all.

I came home after this interlude realising from what my other neighbour said, that my every movement and action had being closely and minutely observed in the decade or so I have lived here.

I do say Good Morning and Hi and How are you today to the neighbours, but I have never got involved with them.

Unlike Queen Victoria who was reputed to have said, "We are not amused.", I was highly amused at all this...