Eden

Thank you so much for your most beautiful and compassionate responses on my last blip. I have read each one and  they all helped me and I was most touched and soothed - I will reply to each of you at some point when I have the right time and can do so in a considered manner. I think they will help me once this surreal festive season is over. 

I took no photos monday - the girls contacted me as they had run out of cat food so I crept into their house and left some on their kitchen table - they are holding themselves in a little bubble and cannot face people. I am in contact with them and like their mother they are showing great fortitude amidst their inconsolable grief. I spoke to people on the phone and then with a migraine of rather nasty proportions I took tablets and slept the rest of the day away until Homeopathic Girl called by to update me. People could go and see Friend that evening.She and then Nellie will be the ones going in to see the girls and gently guide them through the things they have to do and consider. I am consciously opting out of this - the girls know I am here for them and that is sufficient. Vegan Jo's husband called in on me to escape the women who were gathered with Friend, we chatted before Jo came down and I'm afraid I had my first experience of the stage of anger - it didn't leave me feeling good and I had a good cry once they left. My anger was directed at the medical profession.  I now know what the expression "tears of rage" feels like. I've had these feelings of anger on and off over the last two years and I am resolved that this should be the last time I go there.  It's not a state to dwell in and serves no purpose and has no resolution - all such things are in the past and I want to remember the good about Friend during all the time I knew her.

This day a group of us had arranged to go to the Eden Project to see their festival of Light and Sound in the mediterranean biome. We all felt it would be good to be together doing something so we went as planned. First I had to get collect the water packs I had given people to freeze incase they were needed for Friend, which they now were. The packs came from my food boxes and I had been stockpiling them to water my plants - what a very surreal use they were now being put to! Nellie called in with another update and to see whether I wanted to go up to the girls - I had neither the time nor inclination.

So off to Eden with The Angel and her son. We met up with Homeopathic girl's and Party Girls families and the children skated whilst we sat and watched - in previous year the adults skated too! Next food - a wonderful pumpkin tortellini with hazelnut shavings and garlic bread for me and then the Biome! At first i couldn't see anything I felt would translate to being photographed - it was a visual and auditory rather mystical experience that I felt a static photograph could not convey. So I wandered around until I began to "see" and my camera and tripod came into play!  There were two live music sets in between music being played  and most people drifted down to watch them play - so it seemed like I had the place to myself in the upper reaches of the biome - I thought of how much Friend would have enjoyed it and had a little cry. I then took photographs till The Angel phoned me to say they were ready to leave at the same time  an usher came up and told me the biome was closing! 
It's taken a while to process the photographs and  there are much brighter ones than this eerie one - but it summed up the rather misty experience with the deep vocal "Ah- omms" which were played and gave a very mystical, meditative, trance cum primordial feel to my time in the biome! Others here!