My safe place...

When the world feels like it's crashing down on me I like to hide... If I never had to leave the safe haven of my home I'd feel even better. .. safer ... putting on a smile and pretending to be "fine" takes its toll, because do people really want to hear that your falling apart... that all is not "fine"... no they don't... because being told that I need to get on with my life and forget everything that's gone on isn't always easy... my head isn't that kind to me... It plays thing over and over... It stops me from sleeping... It makes my heart so sore that getting out of bed feels like a mission...

People see what they want to see... hear what they want to hear... I'm included in that... I'm still hurting... so much has happened, all the hurt... The deceit... The lies... I just want to forget it all. I want to be me again... living a half life really sucks... The person I am now isn't me at all... she's nobody...

It takes all that I have to function each day... to function for my kids... and they shouldn't have to have a mother who isn't whole...