Animal Magic

My Dear Fellow,

I do not understand this whole "dog people" and "cat people" thing. I'm sure you are the same. I just like animals. I would cuddle a ferret, if not for the fear that it would shoot down my trousers and bite me on the nob.

Look. These things happen.

A few years ago I was sat at a bank of desks with Wendy (dog person) and Karen (dog person) and Gina (child person). They all agreed that "cats are selfish".

Now before you get all affronted, let me say I can kind of see their point. I say this as someone who got a paw in the face at 5.30am the other morning because Punky was hungry. Also I think they were referring to those cats who come in, eat dinner, have a nap and then eff off for the rest of the time, going around chasing mice and having 2nd dinner at the neighbour's and 3rd dinner at another neighbour's.

I had a cat like that once. He was called "Dave" and he basically just used my flat as a kitty hangout. We both agreed to this arrangement and he was pretty undemanding company. I liked the fact that he had his own deal going on.

But I think what Wendy, Karen and Gina were missing was this: subtlety.
Dogs are social animals and thus need to be particularly outgoing in their manner. I mean. A dog in a good mood is hard to miss. Often they are wagging so hard they nearly fall over. But the thing is that cats smile too, only a non-cat person can't see it. 

As a cat-owner, you know that look. Ears forward, whiskers forward, eyes-half-closed. No wagging though. 

And cats are NOT selfish. Even feral cats take care of each other. As any cat-owner who's ever been ill will tell you, they sit with you when you're not well. Sometimes you'll even get a wash. Perhaps getting covered in cat-spit wasn't exactly what you wanted, but I think we can all agree it's a nice thought.

I would love a dog, I really would. But I appreciate the boys. Even when they're not doing anything they are a calming influence. I can watch Punky washing or Jasper sleeping and it makes me feel happy. After a bad day, I can cuddle Jasper and his purring eases my mind. He was nearly stroked bald the day reality tv star President Honey-Boo-Boo was elected.

And then Punky does something like this, and the world is put to rights. Right now I'm so mellow I could even put a ferret down my pants.

El P.