Laid to Rest

The Eulogy:

"Thank you all for coming today to celebrate the life of my mother, Pat.
 
When I was thinking about my contribution to the funeral, I was struck by the difficulty in doing justice to 93 years of life.  I reflected on the people who may attend today and realised that many of you have only known Mom in the later years of her life.  I’m indebted to relations from both sides of my family for filling in gaps in my knowledge and to her friends for sharing some of their memories of her earlier life.
 
Mom was born on 27th August 1923 the only daughter of Henry ‘Harry’ and Elizabeth Wright.  There was early trauma in her life when her mother died within 2 years of her birth. As Mom told it, her mother’s sisters were appalled by the state she was living in with her father and demanded that she was given over to the family in Cornwall to bring up.  This happened, but her father had nothing to do with her from that moment on.
 
She grew up with her aunt, Annie Murton and Annie’s son Douglas, in Truro Cornwall.  Annie’s husband had died shortly after the end of World War 1. Annie managed to bring in enough income from holding down two jobs, while providing a home for Douglas and Pat. Mom loved her life in Truro.  There were friends and cousins to play with and always lots of things to do. 
 
On leaving school she left Cornwall and started work as a nurse at the Midland Counties Hospital in Knowle, Warwickshire.  It was the beginning of World War 2 and times were hard.  She experienced snow for the first time having never previously seen ‘white stuff’ coming out of the sky.  Mom remembers that one of the governors of the hospital appreciated the work of the nurses so much that on one occasion he treated them to afternoon tea at his home, Packwood House.  This is now a National Trust Property, famous for the topiary in its gardens.
 
The nurses enjoyed going to dances in Birmingham.  On one occasion in early 1945 they had planned a night out dancing at the Masonic Hall in Birmingham.  Mom was really tired after a hard day in the wards but her colleagues persuaded her to go; just as well for me because it was at that dance she met Ray Colling, then in the RAF and returned from a posting in North Africa.  A whirlwind romance resulted in their marriage in June 1945.
 
Married life started in a small flat in Moseley.  It was post war Birmingham and they didn’t have many possessions.  Mom told me that deck chairs were used for furniture but it was Dad that told me about the lack of crockery.  Apparently, Mom had a habit of throwing them across the room when they had arguments! 
 
Despite this they were very happy together. 
 
Mom had been required to leave her job at the hospital, married nurses were not allowed. She got a job at Highcroft Hospital in Erdington before they bought a fish and chip shop behind the Barton Arms in Aston, next to the Aston Hippodrome.  They had many a famous visitor to the shop.  The hippodrome was a very popular venue and had such artists as Laurel and Hardy, George Formby, Gracie Fields, Morecambe and Wise, Larry Grayson and Judy Garland performing there.  A visit to the fish and chip shop was often a highlight after the show.
 
They had moved to College Road, in New Oscott in the 1950’s.  Mom and Dad had tried unsuccessfully for children over many years.  It is difficult to understand the anguish of the miscarriages Mom suffered in those years.  They had thrown themselves in to work and home life.  Dad was a very keen sportsman and Mom either accepted that or would have spent a lot of time on her own.  By the late 50’s the football had ended for Dad but he continued to play cricket for the Co-op and S and U and Mom would join with the other wives and girlfriends at the ground in Hockley Heath, making teas and relaxing in the summer.  It appears that the WAGs of the cricketers got as much out of the cricket as the players themselves and I’ve been told they particularly enjoyed the cricket tours organised to Devon.
 
In early 1960 Mom realised she was pregnant again.  Each month must have been agony of hope and trepidation but on 16th August that year, she gave birth to me.  In 1962 they sold the Fish and Chip Shop and bought a hairdressers in Gravelly Hill, Erdington, Birmingham.  We lived above the shop.  Dad soon after started working as a salesman for Gross Cash Registers while Mom managed the shop, did manicures and advised on hair tinting.  She became so expert she was retained by Wella to pass on her knowledge.
 
My memories were of happy times.  We had an extended family in Cornwall and I remember trips on the Cornishman train down to Truro to stay with Auntie Annie and cousins.  It was on one of these occasions, staying at Uncle Laurie’s in Perranporth that the families went down to the beach.  We intended to have pasties for lunch and Mom offered to fetch them from the house.  After an hour, we were all starving but there was no sign of Mom.  Laurie went back to find out what was happening and they both soon returned, Mom looking a little sheepish.  Apparently, she’d had no problem getting back to the house and letting herself in, but when she was ready to return, the family dog resolutely refused to let her leave, barring her way to the door, growling and baring its teeth!  Nothing she tried made any difference.
 
I was very fortunate to have benefitted from all of Mom and Dad’s hard work.  We moved to a new home in 1967 on the Chester Road.  They doted on me and I was not left wanting for anything.  My memories were that the house as always full of music.  In those years, it would be the music of Mantovani, James Last and Frank Sinatra amongst others.  What some of you will not realise is that in her later life she fell in love with another man, a Dutchman, who swept her off her feet with his magic touch.  Andre Rieu first came to her attention in the 1990s, well before his wider popularity.  This grew to be a true love affair.  She joined his fan club, made friends with other fans across the world, and after buying her first computer in 2001, could keep in contact through email and on his website.  She even had the pleasure of going to one of his concerts in Manchester.  The rest of the family was dragged,…………….. I mean invited along as chaperone.
 
Other than our holidays to Cornwall we also spent many years driving down to Treboul in Brittany, staying at Madame Martin’s hotel during the summer holidays.  And in 1970 we even flew for the first time to the Costa Blanca for a package holiday in Benidorm!
 
Mom and Dad retired to Lichfield in 1986.  They had sold the shop and Dad kept working part time for an ex colleague from his Gross Cash Register days.  They built up lasting friendships with their neighbours and spent a lot of time with Dad’s brother, Frank and his wife June who lived nearby.  I moved out shortly after and married Lorna the following year.  Mom and Dad enjoyed their retirement, until Dad was taken ill and died in 2000.   Mom and Dad had been married for almost 55 years.
 
I remember Mom’s determination to deal with this tragedy.  She started to drive again; she hadn’t for many years.  She took control of the house and finances and made a new life, without Dad.  I would visit at weekends to help where I could.  Any of you that knew Mom would recognise a stubborn streak in her, but this helped her greatly in those days. 
 
In latter years, her health deteriorated.  She started to receive care in her home and made good friends with those who came to help.  Kay in those first few years and Judith in the later years were wonderfully kind to Mom and very much appreciated.  Failing health and lack of mobility necessitated her moving into a nursing home in 2014.  For most of that time she lived at Shenstone Hall.  She kept herself to herself but really appreciated the care and kindness of the staff.
 

Consigning such a life to a few short words has not been difficult.  Expressing my profound thanks for the unconditional love I received from Mom, and Dad, would take an eternity.  Mom has been a constant in my life for 56 years.  While I have rightly received a slap across the back of my legs on occasion, I have never doubted her love. I will always feel the luckiest son in the world for having had a mother like Pat.  Goodbye Mom, I’ll miss you forever."