F is 4 fffreezing ….

I’m about to jump in to the shower when I notice the radiator is cold.  The hot water is cold as well.

I check the boiler; there should be a green light glowing and a temperature showing.  The green light is red and in the black window below, instead of a temperature, a red ‘F 4’ flashes off and on.  (You’ll have to take my word for it - 3 attempts to blip the flashing signal failed). 

‘F’ is for faulty.  ‘F’ is also for freezing.

We have a service contract with British Gas; I call them.  “You have a heart condition don’t you?”.  “Yes” I say.  “We’ll treat it as an emergency breakdown.  An engineer will be with you shortly”.  And he is.

The boiler turns out to be fine, from a mechanical point of view.  It’s just not talking to the thermostatic controller.  Eventually they kiss and make up, the engineer departs and I take off my overcoat.