Legal anserine matters

 
Having read this statement by the Bedford Borough Council I feel the need as a law-abiding citizen to urgently review my policy vis-à-vis swans. In fact I have already written to the Council’s Solicitor in Chief asking him or her the following questions.
 
1.     You say that it is an offence to “take” a wild swan, but what do you mean by “take”? Take to the pictures? Take in the biblical sense? And how far do you have to “take” it for an offence to occur? Is it an offence if the swan actually stalks me or follows me home? Surely I would then be the takee rather than the taker.
2.     It is an offence to “possess” the egg of a wild swan, but in what sense? What if I smashed it, boiled it , played bowls with it , say, or indeed merely “borrowed” it? Am I in any philosophical sense taking possession of the said ovum?
3.     You refer to possible interactions with the nest of a mute swan. Please explain why and how you are differentiating between mute and wild swans. If a mute swan is NOT a wild swan then presumably I can injure, take or kill it with impunity. Similarly, if the swan before me is not mute then it appears that I am at liberty to trash the nest as I see fit. ( In your answer, I think that a Venn Diagram would be appropriate here)
4.     The last clause is ambiguous to say the least. Can I damage or destroy the nest of a mute swan if the bird in question is NOT in use or being built?
5.     Are there any specific offences that you should draw to my attention concerning the hooper, bewick, black, trumpeter or whistling swan?
 
   
I have told the Solicitor in Chief that I would appreciate a swift reply to the above questions. Until these matters are resolved, my good lady wife and I feel unable to undertake our daily constitutional along the banks of the charming Great Ouse for fear of unwittingly performing a criminal act.

STOP PRESS I have been told that it is definitely illegal to Ride A White Swan