I'm messy.
I've always wanted to be a neat freak but I just can't do it.
I'm not comfortable there.

I get the table all cleared off and put a candle in the middle....aahh, isn't that pretty....now let me go get all my paints and pallets...I've got all this room to play!!

I could make the same old NYR to be neater in 09 and kinder of thought....but naaaaa....that'll just lead to self-hatred for not being able to do it:))