The people we wish we were

In 2008 that I shared the picture of a box of paints saying "I want to take the time to draw, paint and craft again". 4 years later the plan is still that, a plan - not quite, there's a few sketches and a crocheted scarf and some attempts at writing. But really, nothing much, and just a few false starts that last a day.

We all have many objects (and plans to do etc.) for the people we wish we were, wish we had the time to be, or hope to one day be - rather than for who we are now. There is nothing all that wrong with this as long as we are aware of it (and know to control it) - and aren't carrying many versions that are out of date or, worse, aren't really who we wish we were but who we have learned we ought to be.

I for example have many books I intended to read one day - for me they come in two main types: a) non fiction scholarly things mostly, that I am interested in but, it turns out, not that dedicated to learning after all and b)old genre fiction books (or computer games) I think I ought to have experienced (here I actually do read some)

I'm letting go of some - books and imagined "me"s. But the maker/crafts/artist me I am not letting go, because I couldn't. That has been part of me from childhood and it needs to come out again to play more often. I just need to get over the stuck-ness.

So I went as far as setting a corner of the house aside, though, so maybe, just maybe, by 2016 I will have done more than a few sketches. It sits in the room where we also put my father's exercise machine. Maybe we should call it the "other us" room :)

Just too much to do, and I feel bad doing something so, well, leisurely, when I am already procrastinating so many things... I probably need to join a course of find a few other people to get me moving (I'm not all that good, but I enjoy it, so I need a nice group...)

PS: The finished paintings shown here are NOT by me, that's why they are finished. They're "real" art we own waiting to be hung in its proper place when the renovation is finished.