Who the hell is driving this thing?

1. You haven't lived until you've overseen your own toddler completely melt down in a Home Bargains on a Saturday afternoon.

2. Enduring tantrums, particularly public ones, should be recognised by an official governing body and medals awarded accordingly.

3. I didn't start smoking today. Came close right enough.

4. Rounding the day off with a 3rd birthday party full of bouncing and blethers.

5. Waiting patiently for my medal to arrive. I'm expecting at least a silver.