Emergency blip

I went back to Dr's today. Saw a lovely lady doctor. Usually prefer male doctors but I would see her again. Told her how I felt. She feels I should stay on my citalopram for the time being. She's trying my on orlistat a weight management tablet with horrible effects if I eat any fat. She said they tested me for diabetes in Feb I'm borderline and of I carry on as I am this time next year I will be diabetic. 

I just feel at a loss so much going on in my life. Food as always been a comfort to me I need to change my ways for good. My heads all over I want to get rid of this weight but how much as I can't seem to get my head into it. I feel useless and pretty pathetic. Rose is worth so much more thats why I keep trying. 

Love c xxx