Grand designs

Punjabi folks are well known in India for their love of good food, music, bling and enthusiasm for partying. Some people, usually not those who are Punjabis, call them loud and showy. Compared to Southern Indians for example who are much more understated, the contrast in the styles of personal expression is dramatic. In every sense of the word.

Last night in honour of my cousin Tegh's wedding to Angela we attended their henna night. It was the first of the three days of festivities in a Punjabi wedding. The groom is a Sikh man and the bride, the daughter of a Christian mother and Hindu father. The two met as school friends and have been together since. 'Mixed' marriages are still uncommon in India. Many communities, especially the Hindus are insular and keep building their ties through introductions and arrangements to those who follow their faith. The Hindu caste system relies on a hierarchy and even within this order, there are sub-castes, like concentric circles within which people co-exist. Marrying outside of your caste is often viewed as scandalous and bringing shame to the family, especially if marrying 'beneath' one's social caste. Honour killings happen regularly and shamefully in heterogeneous India. It is a country which is often at war with itself as it is simultaneously propelled forward into modernity and yanked backwards unwilling to loosen its grip on draconian values.

We had scrumptious food; the music and dancing was loud and lively. The singers sang Punjabi folks songs, some of them in a call and response style. The DJ played and the karaoke crowd sang hits from yesteryear of 70s Bombay films.

The women and girls all lined up to have their hands decorated by the henna artists recruited for the occasion. It was a night of revelry, reconnecting with many cousins, warm hospitality and much noise.