The Wrong Field.....

When I was given the job of 'Skin Ambassador' (seriously), I pictured myself travelling the world country, advising people about which desperately expensive cleansers and toners to use, being invited to supply spa hotels with exclusive body butters, and generally just being a bit glamorous.

But no. I'm much more likely to be summoned from my office to inspect someone's mouldy eczema (don't bother Googling 'mouldy eczema'; it's my personal medical discovery and as yet I haven't registered it as an actual thing...) and sell them a tub of E45.

Yesterday, I was closeted in the consultation room with a girl who was extremely distressed by strange pigmentation marks which had appeared round her ankles. She was about 15 and wailing like a banshee on steroids.

I'll spare you the level of forensic investigation which ensued, but within 20 seconds, I was able to tell her that she wasn't actually dying; however the next time she decided to plaster a ton of fake tan on her legs, she might want to make sure she was a bit more careful in the knee and ankle department.


Mouldy eczema and streaky self tans.....they never put that in the job description.......