Study of a shambling man

Been a while since I selfied. It's made me realise I need to trim that damn beard. Currently I just need to walk into any room, and everything and anyone in it will suddenly look slightly dishevelled. Another reason to get off the pain management meds. My interest in my own personal appearance disappeared around about the time my fatherhood began, but even for me, I fear things have gone too far :)

I should have reduced the dose again today, but this past week has been problematic, in terms of health and pain control. Not necessarily to do with the tapering process; but just in case, it's probably prudent to plateau for a week.

Generally still feeling sharper, but I cant say I've noticed any great leaps in creativity. What I have noticed is that I'm feeling frustrated and unsatisfied with my day to day existence. This is a change, and while it may seem strange, I think it's likely a change for the better. Dissatisfaction at the very least leads to momentum of some sort. A simple post like this is still a strange battle with entropy itself; but it's possible that two weeks ago I'd simply have lost the battle and remained silent.

The "eye” still isn't there. I used to see potential images everywhere, but that's still very much dried up. Can't help but feel there's an awful lot of catching up to do.

I was reading this article today after having researched creativity and meds (see my earlier Magic Bullet blip if you're​ curious about why). It echoes my own experience and then some. It's remarkable the number of creative people who have had their creativity removed chemically by anti-depressants. Frustrating to me that it's the pain I want removed, not the emotions. Good or bad.

Fascinating, though, that the same type of language gets used to describe the shape of those emotions necessary for creativity to thrive; my "sine waves" and their "undulations" are the same thing through a different filter. It's a good article. I'm not sure he takes a balanced enough view if I'm honest - sometimes it's very helpful to have those undulations smoothed out - but it really does echo my experience, and judging by the comments on the previous blip (thanks by the way) I'm far from the only one here to experience it that way.

Well worth a read. Especially if you have the same morbid fascination with the subject as me.