It's a serious business ...

... having a birthday. 

Conversation tonight consisted (in part) of the following:

Gangrenous feet
The anal glands of dogs
Close encounters with human excreta
Having a bucket of urine thrown at you
Dying in a nuclear war
The easy jet flight from hell
Why it is sometimes a good idea to tie lead weights to your penis

All of which caused a lot of laughter. There were a lot of other things but I can't remember them. Or have blotted them out. 

This is what happens when you get too many weird people around the same table at one time.

Happy Birthday Ms P. I know you enjoyed it because you laughed more than anyone. But then you are the weirdest of us all.

I took a wrong turn in the back lanes of Surrey and got lost in the dark coming home. By now I was tired and in a strange mental state due to having consumed too much alcohol free lager. Even close to home the roads looked unfamiliar

PS: For reasons I cannot disclose I now have to produce some home made lemon curd.