The Mean Girl

My Dear Fellow,

Today, the third party that we deal with came for a visit. I went to a meeting with their head chap and Woman Who Relates Everything To Herself. The meeting started like this:

HEAD CHAP: Sorry I'm a bit late.
WOMAN: Yes, I remember one time when I was late to a meeting.
HEAD CHAP: It's this building, I keep getting lost.
WOMAN: On my last project, I got lost all the time.
HEAD CHAP: Anyway, I digress.
WOMAN: I used to work with a man who digressed.

So that was painful. The meeting took twice as long as it needed to and we were just getting up when...

MAN: Hullo.
ME (Inner Voice): Oh noooo! It's the Man Who Can't Finish A Sentence!
HEAD CHAP: Oh hello, good to see you again.
WOMAN: It's nice when you see people again isn't it? I remember one time when I saw someone I hadn't seen for ages.
MAN: Sorry I missed you before it's just that - well - the thing is - because - it's just...
HEAD CHAP: You were talking with Boring Developer I expect.
BORING D: Yes. And I was getting stuck on some words WHICH (long pause) seem to cause me TO (long pause) take a long time TO (long pause) say anything.
MAN: And because - well - it's just - the thing is...
WOMAN: I remember one time I got stuck in a sentence! 

As I sat there it occurred to me that I must have a Mean Girl stuck in my head because I was listening to all this with all these bitchy thoughts going around in my head. 

I should be appalled at myself. But she keeps me sane. But no, I am appalled. I'm a terrible human being.

MEAN GIRL: I see that Woman Who Relates Everything To Herself has a prominent nasal hair, flapping about.

I'm a horrible person and I'm going to the Bad Fire.

Parsones