Feels Like Hope

It's amazing how easily you can slot back into certain places, certain friendships. I walked into that house as if I'd popped out for biscuits five minutes earlier.
There were some more solemn moments, like sharing stories about the giant 'D' word and worrying about existentialism and gods who do nothing. But it's not those things that I want to think about now.
I want to think about how nice it was to eat Meat Feast pizza and drink Pepsi Max; watch Bridesmaids; share things and be found funny; debate things and philosophise; look in the mirror at 3 a.m. and think that your hair looks nice and realise that you are at a sleepover with people you had thought you'd lost and that you don't feel heavy with anxiety for once but feather-light and giddy and young; spontaneously walk a Far Way and Back Again at 6 in the morning and remember that Sunrise happens every day and how wonderful a thing that is; to hear birdsong and take pretty good pictures that stop the world from spinning too fast; have people compliment your abilities; go back to your friend's house stiff-limbed and sleepy and lie in-between two people who make you happy; to sleep deeply and well.
That is the torch I will keep within me when being overtired makes me melancholy later today. I will glow with the charm of a night bursting with good things and use that glow to plan videos and stories and photo shoots and make other people happy and look forward to the next few weeks...
I've missed this.