If a Leek Could Speak

What would it say?
'Who's a pretty veggie then,'
squawking
like a parrot?

or with wistful voice
and plaintive sigh,
'So pale, am I,
I wish I were a carrot!'?

poem © Celia Warren 2012

Vegetables' wishes can come true. They did for carrots who disliked their original colour. They only became orange during the fifteenth century, when Wurzel von Karotte led the Carrot Revolt, so called as many common carrots had heard diners complaining, "These purple roots look revolting!" Many perfectly edible carrots were laid waste before a change in their breeding habits saw them achieve the appetising orange hue we know and love today.

A spokesveg for leeks, Welshleek, Sir Allium Porrum, denied there was any discontent among the vegetable population. "Leeks," he asserted, "are proud of their creamy colouring." Sir Allium admitted that some leeks even considered carrots' orangeness 'crude', but distanced himself from this viewpoint. "We all get along fine - grow and let grow," he said, quoting the old vegetable saying, "Same soil, same soup!".