Soothing Lavender

I had a bad night, woke at 2 and got back to sleep after 5.... the awful news in Manchester upset me of course and I spent some time trying to find out what had happened... I have spent quite a bit of time there and performed there many times, I have lots of friends from Manchester, it is just so awful...

After some essential emailing, laundry and changing of bedsheets etc I spent some time chatting to Zebedee who is having some problems at college, we have a meeting there tomorrow. He made me a very tasty oat pancake.

I went to visit Mum, she has always loved Lavender, I saw some in someone's front garden, I rang the bell as I didn't want to trespass, a nice lady answered the door, I asked if I could have some and explained what it was for, I got quite tearful, the lady was really sweet about it and said she was glad to think it would help so I picked some.

I was upset when i arrived so I went into the Palliative lounge and ate my sandwiches and took some time to centre myself.

When I arrived at Mum's room I crushed some onto my fingers several times so she could smell the scent and she really liked it, her breathing changed slightly and although there wasn't much expression I could just tell she liked it.

I asked if she wanted to listen to the rest of 84 Charing Cross road and she nodded so we did, there was over an hour left.

I had a chat with the Doctor who said it's the most comfortable natural death she's ever seen, we are into day 9 now, Mum has had no food, fluids or medication bar one shot of Morphine for 9 days, she does look comfortable and peaceful, she isn't frowning anymore and does seem relaxed.


I feel exhausted, I am going back to bed for a while.