Goodbye Mummy

I woke at 1.30 and at 2 the hospital called to tell me that Mum had passed away peacefully...

I sobbed loudly but no one woke up (Max has been in the spare room because I've been sleeping so badly) then I had a coughing fit then I sobbed again...

Then I called Aunty Jojy who had asked to be told whatever the time and we had a cry and a chat. Then I saw that Sue L7 was up so I had a chat with her and also Rachael and Sharine in Australia. I sent Max a message so he would know when he woke up and he woke at 3 and came to to see me for a cry and a cuddle, then he made me toast and I had a brandy and eventually got back to sleep.

Woke at 7.30 and spent the morning on the phone to family and friends breaking the news.

Then Zeb went to the gym and Max, Gulli and I went to the local gator pub for lunch in the sunshine which was lovely.

Spent the afternoon preparing for my trip, I'm in Birmingham and tomorrow I fly to Malta. So lots to organise. Max was able to come to Birmingham with me and has been amazing as usual.

Everyone at Eden Bar for Gay Pride was so nice and they've really looked after us. My friend Mike Quin sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers up to the dressing room for me and the family. I managed to do my show, I sang for 35 minutes, I needed to do it, the show must go on, I wouldn't have done it if I'd thought I couldn't because I would never let people down with a bad show. The last song was Tears and I did shed a few. When I got backstage I broke down, I couldn't help it, I mean today is the day my Mother died..... it's surreal and it's been a long time coming but it's a massive shock all the same.

Mum would have been proud of me tonight and she would have enjoyed it, she used to come to all my shows back in the day....

Max and I are back at the hotel, the window is open and the traffic is very loud and I have to get up at 6 to fly to Malta via Frankfurt... on Monday I have a day off in Malta, I'm going tom need it because when I get home I will have a lot to do registering Mum's death, notifying official bodies and organising her funeral...

Just as well I appear to be able to cope...