So many things have happened.

I got into grad school.
I met my husband.
I got engaged.
I got married.
I got pregnant.
I finished grad school.

It has been a roller coaster.



Yet, I still find myself... Doubtful. Doubtful of my worth and if I have accomplished much. If I am "good enough" now.
I have made mistakes in amidst of these accomplishments and blessings, and I have made them bigger bigger and prominent in my mind.

It might be the pregnancy hormones, (which I believe in women being strong enough to at least try to control them the best they can), but my mind has gone back to the battlefield I thought I had once claimed victory over.

My insecurities have been speaking louder than the truth: that I am worthy to be loved. That when He made me, it was good. That I have made mistakes in the past, and will continue to, but I should not let them define me. That the past should not be a controlling factor of my present. That I have done good. That I am good. And if I do fail, just learn from it.

Trust. Trust in others and trust in Him.

Abba, I can only pray for a renewed heart and soul from the moment I wake in the morning to when I lay my head down at night. Because I am not strong enough to fight this battle by myself.

You are my strength.
You are my truth.
You are my hope.

Thank you for everything that you have given to me. And for even these battles. Because I know you will continue to faithfully walk me through it all and deliver me from it.

And then one day, I pray, my story will be used to encourage and strengthen others.