The Sunset of Life

Our sweet neighbor fell 3 weeks ago. She has lived alone for years after her husband died. She and her husband were in the house when we moved in as kids, 18 & 19, just starting our lives. They were always great neighbors to us and our kids. We all missed Dean when he passed.

Now Margree is progressing with dementia and she is now in a home. Because of the fall and the confusion she needed some assistance. We went to visit her tonight. It is a beautiful new facility, safe and clean, the attendants seem friendly. We knocked on her door and she welcomed us into this large one bedroom, one bathroom suite. Her little twin bed, two little chairs from her home and a nightstand and small dresser furnished the empty room. She knew who we were and asked about the neighborhood and her home. She would ask us 5 more times in the course of our hour conversation. She said the food is good and she can walk with her walker to the dining hall. But sometimes they have to come get her. She asked if her home was ok and if it had been rented out and if the neighborhood had changed, if the city had changed. She mentioned over and over how she wanted to go home. My hubby told her that he had spoken with her son and he had said that she had been in this facility for a week. She laughed, "Oh, I thought that I have been here for years'. We all laughed, but I knew in my heart, she wouldn't be going home again. She said "my body is fine, but they tell me my mind isn't working quite right. But I feel like I am fine", she said. "I am 89 and I have had a long life and done pretty good, been healthy. I would just like to go home and die there". We talked for awhile and we left her to work on her crossword puzzle.

As we pulled out of the driveway, tears rolled down my cheeks. My hubby said "I don't want to get old".

In the last years of my life, I hope to laugh at myself and be healthy enough to walk to the dining hall. I don't want to be a burden to anyone, but I, like her, would like to die in my home, in the sunset of my life.