The Mothman Prophecies....

Some of you may know that every Christmas/New Year, I become Blip's resident astrologer...

What you probably don't realise, is that as well as consulting the stars, the runes, the tealeaves and the occasional gin and tonic, I also receive psychic information from The Mothman. (He's the one in the photo; he's called Fabrice.)

Here, exclusively for you, are his latest Wimbledon based predictions.....

1) Roger Federer will win. Or the other guy will. One of them will definitely win.

2) At some point it will rain. (It's summer, what did you expect?)

3) At various intervals throughout the game, commentators will marvel that someone as ancient as Roger can still totter round the tennis court.

4) Boris Becker will get a bit flirty with Sue Barker.

5) Sue Barker will keep the big ugly BBC desk between her and Boris. Just in case.

6) Someone (usually Andrew Castle) will use the phrase "And with that serve, the question has been asked..."

7) Someone else (invariably Tim Henman) will immediately reply "And with that return, the question has been answered...."

8) Between shots, the cameramen will focus on people in the crowd. These will always be glamorous blonde ladies, wearing lots of sparkly jewellery and designer sunglasses. (NB If you're even remotely unattractive, you're not allowed to sit in the front ten rows of Centre Court. You're shoved up the back. Behind a pillar.)

9) Bjorn Borg will be in the royal box looking suitably cool and Scandinavian. Inside though, he's bloody seething about the amount of money the winner gets nowadays.

10) The new Dr Who will be revealed at the end of the championship. Mothman says it's going to be a lady doctor for the first time ever.

No balls please......