Good Grief 286

I mentioned here about making my own notes. I've just been reading parts of the consultation document for the revised NICE guidelines. It's particularly interesting and salutary to read the service users experiences. We continue to grope our way through The Dark Continent.

And today, I continued on my own stumbling 'path' which suggests some kind of direction, which, of course, there is none. 

I kicked off as badly as yesterday but decided to 'sit tight' and not go far after yesterday's exploits. I finally decided on a local walk and by the time I had taken this shot, less than a mile into my walk, I knew I was on track. Lets start with the breathing ... there is a breath that occurs. It is so noticeable; a different kind of breath, not only a proper diaphragm breath but there is an exact point below the bottom of each set of ribs. A true breath, unlike all the others. Almost like a switch.
And then there's the noticing. And I noticed this, the vaguest of paths between yellow hawkbit and a couple of sentinel harebells. And here was the start of 'A Line Made by Walking'. I know I have done something very similar over the years, as 30 June '13, but this is a new take on it ... a new Line. Maybe there needs to be several, or many.
I was reminded of The Alchemist - does yesterday's pointlessness gain meaning today? Did I really have to go all that way to arrive here? The moment continues to unfold even when we think it is finished.
And so too with grief ... it continues to unfold in ways I have given up trying to understand.
As I walked the air was full of the sound of water, the sky echoed with ravens calling and even the walls seemed different; everything was somehow 'more itself' ... a moment of 'seeing into the life of things'. 
I know these moments don't last, I've had them before, they are fleeting and just when they enter awareness I find I want to hang on to them but I know now that it isn't possible - part of the wanting to hold on but, of course, nothing stays. The permanent impermanence.
So, with a smile, I walked on.