sentimental strings

Nearly four years ago when my love and I were only just courting, he headed to Michigan to spend the holidays with his family. Giddy with the excitement our new connection, each day we were apart, I mailed a letter. Inside I included something different, but all were sent in red envelopes. A drawing, a poem, a collage- and once, a string.

It was a red string with three small knots. One for love, one for laughter, one for learning. From the same length I cut one for myself and tied it to my wrist. It felt like such a risk, this outward show of commitment, of hope.

It is said that Japanese lovers believe everyone is holding on to one end of an old red string. On the other end is their other half, their true beloved, their soul mate, holding tightly. Life might tie them up with other people or tangle the string up in knots and complications, but the faithful, if they held on, would eventually find themselves face to face with their lover, connected by that old red string.

As I popped that letter in the post, I hoped that the symbolism of the string would resonate. He'd open that note nearly 2700 miles away from me. Maybe he'd just set it aside. Maybe he would find it silly. Maybe I'd revealed too much about my romantic hopes.

Upon reuniting, however, I spied. Those red strings on our wrists were the first outward sign of our commitment to one another, our belief in one another.

Today my red string frayed to unraveling. I wish I could give words to express the heartache. It's silly, I know. It's just a string.

But.

Well.

I found my husband in the backyard. If it had to come off, he needed to do it for me. And he did with the gentleness due such a tender moment.

I wear a wrist full of other sentimental strings. Prayer knots from Tibet, purple for my OASC ocelots, a strand of leather to remind me of a promise, a strand to match my son's, a faded silk length meant to protect my red string when it looked close to breaking last year... But my red string? That was the one that held the hope, that showed that having hope is worth something. .

Certainly, now that we're married we have plenty of other symbols to capture the depth of our commitment, respect, love. But that first one holds a special, dear place. Always will.

Here's to red string holders (and wearers) everywhere! Hold on!