Is that a salami hanging there?

...Or are you just happy to see me?

Oooo errr missus. You're have a meeting in a restaurant and the next thing you know you've come over all Frankie Howerd!!!

Not only that - they're playing the soundtrack of "How to speak Italian" over the P.A.

'Buonasera!
Good evening!

We're not talking confidence building here.