Wednesday

The same but different......

That is what we talked about tonight at counselling. I know I am two different people. One person at work, where I concentrate on work only, we don't really talk about our life's, I don't share how I feel outside of work. The other person, at home, where I turn into this person that thinks, overthinks, hides in my flat, doesn't want to do anything.
I came to some realisations tonight as to why I am like that, and it hurts, goes back to my childhood.

Tomorrow I have no work, or Friday or Monday. 5 days to fill. In my head I want to do several things , and tonight we thought of others, but I know when it comes to the day I won't do it. I will stick around the flat for most of the day because I have no motivation. I can't make myself do it.

Except tomorrow, I get to spend some time with Lewis :)

So really, I don't want holidays and want to work over the next few days.