forever

a social worker in training and a policeman fresh out of the academy. there's something poetic about that. and from chicago, too. the north side. she's all curly blonde hair and chicago accent and her laugh is so genuine. they were friends for eight years beforehand.

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a blast from the past. i should have remembered your name because it's unique, so unusual. we grew up a suburb apart, hung out at all the same places. i knew you, albeit in a distant sort of way. and years later our paths collide. some things seem improbable but i guess, well, i don't know. it happens more often than i think. there is something expected about these things, these days.

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can you imagine what it was like, your little six-year old self, running around java, watching your father do capture-mark-recapture on birds. growing up wild and in a thousand different places. and now you sit here, trying to do the same sorts of things with bees, and you're one of the few people in my life that has made me feel like i might not be able to cut it, like it might all be over my head. and when i ask you if you agree with his conclusions, if you had the same questions, if this, if that - you surprise me. you say "i don't know at all. i'm not even sure what it means." and boy, did i hit the earth like a rock.

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i have always been good at a lot of things but i'm not great at anything. they say this is something that you have to practice. all those good things can become great, but you have to devote hours, years. but there's so much to learn.

i want to write a book about all the people i've met. all the character sketches. there's no market for that crap, but that's what i really love, people. i love them a lot more than they love me.