Anniversaries

Anniversaries are dates to remember, remind, good or bad. Today 6 years ago, my ivf journey ended when all my embryos died. Just like that my heart broke and all my hope and dreams ended. I think I should be over it by now but going through that isn't like flu, it’s not something you ‘get over'. You start to heal but there's always a scar left a reminder of what if. The fate of that day changed me forever.

In the last 6 years I have had the following:
Acting happy for people who are pregnant, how dare life just carry on?
Having people trying to fix me with the "why not adopt?" Brigade
Loss of friendships as they've gone on to have children and didn't know what to say to me. Making me feel more like a social outcast.
Listening to friends moaning about how awful children are.
You're lucky not having children, you get to go on holiday when you want.
You would've made a wonderful mum.

Life does go on and I grasp life but it's not always easy but then grief isn't.