RAMPAGE

Just when you thought it was safe to nip out to the shops .........

Returned the keys for the French apartment this morning, then ventured over the border into Lancashire. Went into a shop which had a joint of ham sitting in a huge chilled display cabinet, all on its own. But they also sold baking tins, bulbs, brooms and bin liners. And sweets in old fashioned jars. Just about anything you could think of, all jumbled up on shelves and hanging from racks.Most things seemed covered in a thick layer of grey dust.

I asked if they had plastic milk bottle tops for milk bottles. No, the elderly couple said. Then the lady said, "What, you mean bottles like the milkman brings?" "Yes" I said. "No" they said.

I looked around on the way out and saw a little box of plastic milk bottle tops. "That's them" I said. "Oh" they said, "We've never known what they were for."

We looked a bit quizzical I suppose. "I bought the stock from my brother-in-law 15 years ago" he said, "And could never work out what they were for." They laughed; it was all a bit surreal.

I bought 2, and the 15 year old price ticket said 25p .... and that's what he asked for. I would not have been surprised if the label had been in shillings and pence!

We didn't buy any ham.