Laughing Cow

With an uphill pedal creak, I set of for a ride over Langbar to see the bike wizard, Chris in Ilkley. 

I've ignored this old oak in my photograph collection a number of times but I do like its character.  It's been a winter photo op so there are normally no leaves and despite liking it, it always seems a little sad.  But with today's sunshine, leaves and hazy weather, it just seems right.

Chris added a bit of grease to my back wheel and sent me on my way.  I was dubious but the bike wizard knows his stuff. I was laughing over the Cow & Calf.

Speaking of which, the microwave didn't get its first use last night as I didn't feel hungry enough for tea so made do with a charcoal cheddar sandwich and blueberries (quite healthy I thought, if a little black.)  This morning, I read the instructions but it took me seven A4 pages of warnings before getting to how it works.  I'm a bit of an instructions girl so read conscientiously.   

I'm not allowed to dry my clothes in the microwave and must beware of delayed eruptive boiling.  Deep-frying is forbidden and I mustn't overcook food.  Now that reminded me of my mum's first attempt at cooking in the microwave when they first became the item to have in your kitchen.  

Sausage rolls! The pastry didn't brown then (does it now?! should there be a warning about not cooking pastry in the microwave?) So she kept adding a few more minutes - nope, pasty - a few more - still pasty - just a couple more until the sausage meat was smoking furiously from within.  Needless to say, we never ate the sausage rolls and mum learned the lesson, Do not overcook food, without ever having to read the instruction book.

Do not use metal inside the microwave.  Well, I remember a sparking gold trim plate at home but Rich trumps that one.  His friend and chef, Gary, had told him about the marvels of the microwave and how they meant less washing up.  In goes Rich's can of beans (very sensibly taking the lid off first!) The machine lit up like a lightening storm, the beans sparked and Rich never did need to read the instructions on not using metal in the microwave.

I do realise, mocking the warnings of the microwave is not really appropriate and am guessing all sorts of accidental bombs have gone off, creating hideous damage, pain and scars. But, the images of the microwave safety instructions - wood burning stoves, volcanic eruptions of Christmas mincemeat and liquid rivers of plastic spoons - have had me chuckling away for the full seven pages.  

Disturbingly, this microwave is not intended for warming wheat bags or heating plates.  Do any microwaves say they are?  How else do I warm my microwavable wheat bags in winter and heat plates before dinner? 

More usefully, I've discovered you can poach an egg in the microwave.

What could possibly go wrong?!