work avoidance strategy #1

Between today and Monday I have to read the page proofs of the book that's coming out in April, and spot any howlers (please, oh God) or typoes or similar, and report back to the publisher. That's 275 or so pages of deep concentration.

It arrived this morning as a pdf file. I opened it, thought 'ooh, I like the font, looks quite American' and then did what any sane person would do... I shut the lid and went to the coffee shop.

Very grey today and raining steadily. The light in the coffee shop was warm and orange. Outside, a purplish blue. It was difficult to leave.

I'm back now. It's 12.15, lunchtime, and I haven't whizzed up any soup today, so there's lunch to think about. And a hundred other things. Dogs out, children home, supper, etc. Where do the days go? In bimbling about, that's where.

I must admit to feeling nervous about reading the proof. I was a different person when I wrote it - a lot of it is taken direct from diaries written at the time of being a dementia carer - and lived in a different part of Scotland, and now I'm interrupting a new project to look at an old one with different eyes. (As Heraclitus said, you can never step in the same river twice).

Except on this occasion, I have to step once more into that same river. Erk. Potentially rather more serious than Erk. What if I don't like myself? What if I disagree with the things I thought I thought? (Several more What Ifs I won't bother you with but there are plenty of 'em).

And now I really must get on and look at it. My palms are sweating. How ridiculous is that?!